My husband and I totally disagree on how to budget and what way to spend our money. I am very logical and plan everything out, and he is a free spirit and feels that if there is money in the bank he can spend it how every he wants. I am also a bit of an impulse spender, but with in reason. Figuring out how to budget when we disagree is a challenge.
Recently we argued about spending money. We had a major plumbing issue that required 30K in repairs and another 17K to remodel the bathroom. On top of that we are moving into the summer month where I don’t get a paycheck. I do plan for summer months by setting aside some of my paycheck during the other months.
My husband decided that he wanted to give $3000 to his sister to help her out with bills. Normally, I would be okay with this, but with a big hit to the savings we would have to give up eating for a month or more so that she could pay her late bills. This set off a big argument.
The argument also got me thinking how do other couples budget when they disagree. I scoured the Internet for ideas and suggestions then tried them out to see how well it works.
Ideas for budgeting as a couple
- Be on the same team agree on your money goals
- Understand each others spending
- Live on less than you earn
- Be honest and upfront about budgeting
- Don’t let separate salary get in the way
- Don’t hide purchases
- Compromise
- It’s okay to disagree
Be a Teammate when Budgeting
Many of these suggestions have the same theme of being a teammate when it comes to budgeting. This doesn’t work well when your partner doesn’t want to be part of the conversation.
I think it is important to have a budget meeting. This ideally should be monthly, but can be seasonally if you can’t get them involved.
For our budget meetings I do need to take the lead, but I will ask questions to find out his ideas and goal, especially when it comes to big purchases, house repairs etc.
Be Upfront
I was not being as upfront as I thought when it came to purchases and budgeting. I made purchases that I didn’t tell him about as I paid for them with my funds and I was putting money into savings without telling him the reason.
By not telling my husband that I was making business purchases, he felt that I was hiding things. I have a separate account for business where I have money for marketing and business needs. It looks like money is only going out, because most of my business is in cash. I need to tell him how I was using this account so he knows that I was just spending and getting a return.
I will be making changes to this account so it’s more transparent.
You might be facing this same type of issues. Look at your accounts, purchases, etc. and make sure you are both on the same page.
Being upfront and honest will make it easier to reach your goals.
It’s okay to Disagree
The final suggestion that it is okay to disagree may seem counterintuitive. You need to agree so that you can reach your goals right?
Well not necessarily, you do need to understand why you disagree and have multiple discussions in order to come to a compromise. You may also need to just table the issue and come back to it later. Work on the things you do agree upon and keep having discussions.
Budgeting isn’t easy and doesn’t happen over night, If you read my initial post “Setting Up a Budget is Easy” you will see that I changed my budgeting, started and stopped many times throughout my life. Look for what works best for you and your situation and make changes as they are needed.
Happy budgeting! Share what has worked for you and your partner with your budget.
